Out of Season, 2000

Digital video, SD 720 × 576 4:3
06:10 min
Filmed in the Malvern Hills, Worcestershire, UK
Performed by Andy Coltrane
Produced by Grizedale Arts

A Chelsea football fan stands alone in the middle of a woodland in summer. He sings football chants as if on the terraces.


Fuck em all, fuck em all
United, West Ham, Liverpool
We are the Chelsea and we are the best
We are the Chelsea so fuck all the rest

(repeated)

Who the fuck
Who the fuck
Who the fucking hell are you
Who the fucking hell are you

You’re not singing
You’re not singing
You’re not singing any more
You’re not singing any more

We hate Arsenal and we hate Arsenal
We hate Arsenal and we hate Arsenal
We hate Arsenal and we hate Arsenal
We are the Arsenal haters

Who’s the bastard in the black?
Who’s the baa-stard in the black?

Chim chimeny chim chimeny
Chim chim cherroo
We hate those bastards in claret and blue

In Dublin’s fair city
Where girls are so pretty
I first laid my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
And she worked her wheel barrow through streets broad and narrow Singing
Chelsea, Chelsea
We are the famous, the famous Chelsea
We are the famous, the famous Chelsea
We are the famous, the famous Chelsea

My old man said be an Arsenal fan
I said fuck off bollocks you’re a cunt
We’ll take Arsenal in half a minute
We’ll take Tottenham and all that’s in it
With our hatchets and spanners
Butcher’s knives and hammers
We’ll show the bastards how to fight
Cos we’re good old Chelsea
Good old Chelsea
Chelsea aggro boys
Get off my sister

Oh, Knees up Mother Brown
Knees up Mother Brown
Under the table you must go
Ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-oh
If I catch you bending
I’ll saw your legs right off
Knees up, knees up, don’t get the breeze up
Knees up Mother Brown
Oh my what a rotten song, sing
What a rotten song, sing
what a rotten song
Oh my what a rotten song, sing
What a rotten singer too-oo-oo

The famous Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope
The famous Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope
The famous Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope
And this is what he said, fuck off
Who’s that team they call the Chelsea
Who’s that team we all adore
We’re the boys in blue and white
And we’ll fight with all our might
and we’re out to show the world how to score
Bring on Tottenham or the Arsenal
Bring on Scousers by the score
Barcelona, Real Madrid
Tottenham are a load of Yids
And we’re out to show the world how to score